Today marks the 48th day that I have been on monk mode. You might be wondering what monk mode is, well it is different things for different people.
For me, monk mode is:
- No Porn
- No masturbation
- No sex
- No orgasm
I have read that others include things like:
- No artificial stimulation (tv, youtube, netflix, games etc)
No procrastination (that includes forums, reddit, reading pointless stuff on the internet, music etc)
- No sugary foods, deserts or fastfood.
I started monk mode purely so that I could rid myself of my destructive porn and masturbation behaviors.
I have been porn free for 48 days straight, but it has only been 35 days since I have had an orgasm. I don’t class that as a complete failure as it was during sex with my partner, and not through porn or masturbation.
When I started monk mode I had no concept of what would change, if anything. I didn’t go out and google what to expect on monk mode, because I wanted my experiences to be fresh, to be untainted by the experiences of others.
The first couple of weeks were hard, there were temptations. I had to force myself to change how I behaved. I installed porn blockers on my laptop, and I stopped spending time in the bedroom, as that was the place I viewed all the porn etc.
I learnt to understand my triggers., but it’s still a work in progress.
After the first couple of weeks my energy started to increase. I found myself less tired in the evening even after having been more active. The biggest change I have started to see so far is the improvement in mental clarity.
I can focus much more easily on things, and my moods are far more stable. In the early stages of monk mode I did feel depressed and run down, I felt hopeless and without purpose. In the early days I suffered, and even now after 48 days working with monk mode there are days when life challenges me and I think how easy it would be to return to using porn, but now when I feel like that the voice I hear in my head is one of a ranting emotionally wounded child.
After about four weeks the thing I noticed the most is a complete lack of sexual desire. My libido died, and so far hasn’t come back. I did a little bit of googling and by all accounts this isn’t unusual and in time the libido does start to rise again.
Where Do I Go From Here
There seems to be a minimum duration for doing monk mode, and that is 90 days. This is the magical number that fellow monks suggest is the minimum length of time in order to see significant results.
The proof will be in the pudding so to speak.
I would say that 90 days is the minimum that I am working towards. I am at the half way point of abstaining from porn, but I am only at day 35 from the point of view of no orgasm.
Either way I still have a way to go.
What Happens If I Fail
I’m not planning on failing, but we never know right? If I fail then I start back again from day zero. I have read about guys who have been on monk mode for over 300 days and then failing, that’s must suck.
If I fail then the only option I have is to discover why and to learn from it. I can’t afford to dwell on it and make excuses, because how would that benefit me or my family?
Besides, seeing failure only invites it into your life. I refuse to accept failure in my life, and neither should you.