At the start of 2019 I didn’t know what was going to happen to me, I was just bumbling along in life as you do, and then wham, the world I once knew ended. My whole world turned upside down.
But, I knew one thing though. Life was not going to be the same again.
I didn’t suddenly wake up one day and say hey I know what I am going to do with my life, I’m going to become one of Gods Warriors, a disciple if you will. What the heck does that even mean? I don’t mean to say these things as some sort of arrogant statement, because that is not who I am. Maybe sometimes I am.
Soul Searching Is Good
These past few months have caused me to do a lot of soul searching, maybe you could call it a some kind of mid-life crisis, maybe a turning point would be more fitting. It doesn’t matter what triggered this, or even how it is labeled. What matters is how I feel inspired to proceed with my life.
There is very much a sense of knowing in my life now, a sense of things to be done. I have no idea how this knowing is going to be manifested in my life on a day to day, or even a week to week basis. Does it even matter? In the past I would of said yes, but today it doesn’t matter much.
My intention now is to live a Godly life, and this means different things to different people, and that is fine. The materialist and the ego driven souls will laugh at the mere concept of living a divinely inspired life, but that is also fine.
What Is A Godly Life
Do I actually know what living a Godly life looks like? As I said before I am very much an apprentice, and my perceptions are very much limited. From my humble and limited observations, if I would to look back on my generally ego driven life I can see now where I have strayed from the path and I suppose in essence I can use that as a kind of way-marker if you will.
Really, from the point of view of God, we never truly get lost for long. Maybe we confuse ourselves over many life times, but in time I think we all come back to God in our own and unique way and time-scale.
As the old saying goes “Man plans, and God laughs”.
God isn’t emotionally invested in what we do, or how we behave. God has all the time in the universe, and possibly so do we as divine beings, but I, the consciousness that I call Jae is short on time, considering the average mortal life span is some where around about the age of 80 something.
I feel that I have a lot to achieve on this mortal coil, but the problem is I’m not actually sure what it is I am supposed to be achieving.
As the Oracle said in the first Matrix film;
Oracle : Sorry, kid. You got the gift, but it looks like you’re waiting for something.
Neo : What?
Oracle : Your next life, maybe. Who knows? That’s the way these things go.
We all have the ‘gift’ and some of us manifest these gifts for the benefit of others, and the rest of us seem to be waiting for something. Maybe we can all realize our potential in the next life time, or even the next 1,000 life times, who knows?
We Have To Make A Choice
One thing I am learning, albeit slowly, is that we have to make a choice. It’s a scary choice for many people, but as daunting as it maybe, we have to choose between the ‘red pill’ and the ‘blue pill’.
We have to believe that God will catch us as we fall through the rabbit-hole into the world of faith and discipline. It’s a scary prospect having faith in something that the world says your crazy to ‘believe’ in, but faith is what you need and you need a lot of it, living through the heart in a world controlled by the cold intellect and ego is a scary place indeed.
Letting go of control, the ego and intellect is very scary, but through faith and discipline I firmly believe things become easier. I am far from an expert, but I am trusting more and more.
I would be a liar if I said that letting go is easy and not fear inducing, but I think staying in this limited tribal reality is more scary.
Well then, there is only one thing for it, and as Morpheus said in the Matrix…
“Just breathe, Neo“.
Breathe, be still, be at one with God. I think that is sound advice indeed.