Journey Of Jae – 23 Oct 2019

What’s Jae’s Journey About?

In a nutshell, Jae’s journey is about transformation. When I started this journey I was struggling, really struggling. I am a recovering porn and masturbation addict, and like other addicts I have recurring mental health issues.

This is my on-going journey.

Hard Mode Updates

This has been my first update in a while, so whats been happening?  Well, as things stand I have been porn and masturbation free for 83 days today!  Go me!…lol

The Less Good News

That’s the good news, the less good news is that we still haven’t found another property to rent as yet, our landlord is being ‘tolerant’ with us, but I do wonder how long that will last.  I told him a few weeks back that I am not going to move my disabled partner and children into a substandard property just to please him.  If he doesn’t like it then he will just have to take us to court, and legally speaking we haven’t done a thing wrong.

Anyway, let us see what the next few weeks bring.

The Bad News

Now, the really not good news is that last week I found out that my dad has a terminal brain tumor and he has been given just 6 months to live.  There is no treatment that is available to him because physically he is very weak and it would be unlikely that he would survive the treatment.

My dad hasn’t had the best year so far, as back in the summer he under went a quadruple heart bypass, which to be honest I didn’t expect him to survive due to his other medical issues.

The only good news concerning my dad is that he isn’t in pain, and it is unlikely that he will experience any for the remainder of his time.

Personal Disciplines This Week

  • Fasted for 16 hours.
  • Regular repetition of affirmations.
  • Read for an hour per day

Darkest Before The Dawn

These last few weeks haven’t been easy for me, but I am still maintaining a sense of emotional balance which I am actually pleasantly surprised about.  I am not sure how often I will be able to write considering the challenges that I am facing regarding our housing situation and the illness of my dad, oh and I almost forgot, I could also be facing unemployment due to challenges within my company.

Like the rest of us, I have two options to facing my challenges, one is to be crushed and defeated by them, and the other is to rise and face them head on.  I have been crushed in the past, and I know how it makes me feel, so I choose to rise and look my challenges square in the eyes and face my fears head on.

Onwards dear friends!

 

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7 comments

  1. I am so sorry to hear about your father. I couldn’t imagine what it would feel like to have a clock like that ticking for my dad. My thoughts are with you. One question I’ve always wondered about people who are going through hard mode… what is the advantage or reason for fasting?

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    1. Thanks Joshua I appreciate your thoughts. Regarding hard mode, I think everyone who follows hard mode has different reasons for doing it, but I think for most people the reason for doing it is to learn self restraint so that they do not become victims of their sexual impulses. Those who have done hard mode for at least 3 months have noticed improved mental clarity and an overall increase in welbeing and energy. Personally speaking, I have noticed all these things myself and I have also seen a much improved sense of emotional balance. All these advantages are debatable, but if the outcomes are positive, what’s the problem right. 🙂

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      1. The reason for fasting has nothing to do with my recovery directly. The fasting is part of my self imposed daily disciplines, along with things like affirmations, prayer,dietary discipline of not over eating etc. I find that fasting for about 16 – 18 hours per day is beneficial for my health and energy.

        Sorry for the confusion.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. In many ways this is a very encouraging read …. and then I read about your Dad and felt such sorrow on behalf of you and your family. I’m so sorry. I’m glad that you are on a path you are proud of, and one that you’re committed to – even in the hard times. What you share is inspiring – because life is really difficult at times!

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  3. Sorry to hear about your dad. I lost my Mom to cancer. Being a faithful follower of Christ I have often asked why. The only answer I have is this: when you can’t see past the circumstances, trust God’s heart. He does love you and is faithful to be with you through this process. We won’t have all the answers now, but we will understand it all when we put off this mortal and put on immortality.

    God bless and my prayers go out to you, your father and your family.

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    1. Thanks for your kind words. I am trying my best to be patient, understanding and faithful throughout all my challenges, but it is certainly challenging. Blessings to you and yours. 🙂

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